BIKE MESSENGER
I was crossing the street in the heart of San Francisco's financial district with a friend and her 6-week-old baby strapped to her belly. We were in the back of a pack of people and didn't notice the flashing "Don't Walk" hand turn solid. A cab came barreling at us, getting really close as the cabbie yelled "GET OUT OF THE CROSS WALK".

Outraged at seeing the man come so close to a woman with a baby, an enormous, really grimy bike messenger employed his booming street thug-meets- James Earl Jones voice:
"SHUT UP, BITCH"

Me, in a forced calm:
"Thank you very much"

Matching my tone perfectly,
"Oh, you're very welcome"

Thank God foul mouth civility isn't dead.