APOLOGY
I made meatloaf for some friends last night. I have the recipe pretty well memorized, so I just walked around the store yesterday, grabbing the things I needed. This includes ketchup, of course. It was 2-for-1, so I got two ketchups. When I got home, I realized I must have done the same thing the last two or three times I made meatloaf - cause I now have five, ten-ounce bottles of DelMonte ketchup.

Suddenly, the complaints of ex's (roommates, girlfriends, etc) resonated clearly.
Some kitchen related apologies are past due:

To my Ex's - Sorry for all the BBQ bottles, Cajun marinades and jars and jars of Maraschino cherries. I thought I needed them.

To my Dad - I now understand a stove's burner is not an on-off switch. There are a variety of degrees at which you may heat things.

To my Sister - I am not at all sorry for my practice of stealing your grilled cheese sandwich, even when I wasn't hungry. It was a matter of principle. I had to do it - and I always will.

To certain customers of The Rainbow Cafe in Winston-Salem, NC (1991-1992) - I'm sorry I touched your food. You were being a jerk and I thought it was funny.