Cagan

Cagan's on the job. His new blog:

You know, give the kids slogans like, "Friends don't let friends pop a couple amyls and then take pictures of them making out with their 'Hello Kitty' doll dressed only in a pair of low rider boy shorts." Sure, it'll have to be a little catchier than that.

And there should be a mascot. How about "Snappy" the perpetually disgusted camera! "Kids, Snappy can't believe you're doing that in front of Snappy. For the love of all that is holy, put your top back on, because Snappy's gonna be freaking sick."