TEN THINGS FROM NEW YORK

1) After living elsewhere for the last 4 years, people still stop and ask me directions at least 5 times a day. People just think I'm that guy.

2) Riding around in Mrs. Kerry's motorcade this week (especially to and from LaGuardia) reminds me how much I love driving with a police escort. Man you can get around fast.

3) This story of THK suggesting that Laura Bush was somehow less of a First Lady because she hadn't held a full time job is just the Bush camp being jackasses. She was talking about how experience changes your life and she didn't remember if Mrs Bush had held a job. That's it. And then, just to be clear...she apologized for forgetting! Take it easy everyone.

4) Mrs. Kerry thinks I could play for the Red Sox, based on the very impressive way I caught her hat as we were on the LaGuardia tarmac. We Masons can catch!

5) Attention Everyone: If you lay your hands on a woman in anger, we lay our hands on you.

6) Attention Everyone: If you defend/excuse the guy who grabbed you by the neck in a bar, we will wash our hands of you.

7) Lilly Tomlin is quite sweet. Rod Stewart's wife is hot. The women on the view wear a lot of make-up. A lot.

8) The mid-town Days Inn is somewhere to send one's enemies. Screw you, Tolbert!

9) The new theater Playwrights Horizons (my old company) built is amazing.

10) You can Disneyize mid-town all you like, but it still don't smell right.